Encouraging Gratitude in Our Children

Written by Jenn, Contributing Writer

One afternoon, as the whining and complaining from my children again increased in frequency and volume, I sat with my head in my hands wondering how to address the behavior that most grates on my nerves.

Aside from hollering, “Be quiet!”, and sending them to their rooms to pout, I didn’t think anything could make them stop. But maybe it wasn’t just about stopping them from whining: calling a temporary cease-fire that would continue, without a doubt, as soon as I released them from their time outs. Perhaps the whining was simply a symptom of a greater issue: the lack of gratitude in my children’s hearts.

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Encouraging gratitude in our children isn’t something that can be hammered into their heads or commanded from them in an instant. Pointing my finger and saying in my best gruff voice: “You better be thankful, kids!” isn’t really going to do the trick.

It’s a process, much like anything in parenting! Thankfully, there are a few things we can do to help our children recognize their blessings.

Be an example. I often fall into the “do as I say, not as I do” category. I can be very ungrateful sometimes, because by human nature it’s easy for me to look at what I don’t have or how bad my day is going and get a little pouty and whiny myself! I find that daily asking God for the grace to recognize my blessings and consciously thinking of and speaking about what I am thankful for throughout the day can be an encouragement to my children as well!

Speak over your children with Scripture. Many of the Psalms call on us to “give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!”. In your devotions or maybe in the morning during breakfast, try speaking Scriptures of thankfulness over your family. This month we have been going through this thankfulness calendar with lots of great Bible verses that help us see how we are truly blessed!

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Make your child aware of the needs around them. We often share with our children stories we read or hear about others in need. We pack boxes for Operation Christmas Child each year, read through the Prayer Point we receive every few months in the mail from Samaritan’s Purse and donate as a family to many organizations close to our hearts. Maybe you’ve been on a missions trip or something similar! I think it’s also good to note that as we show our children that others have needs, that we remind them that the people in need aren’t necessarily unhappy, because “stuff” doesn’t make you happy. It’s simply that we want to bless them by helping to meet their physical and spiritual needs when we have been given the means to do so. It helps my children to recognize where they find true joy!

Don’t give your kids too much stuff. I feel that this is a big part of why children can sometimes become ungrateful: they have so much that they don’t appreciate what they are privileged to have. Gifts given on special occasions mean more when kids aren’t constantly provided with whatever they want, whenever they want it.

Much patience, self-control and diligence have been learned in our house when, for example, we have our children earn a reward for doing some chores (apart from the daily chores they do as part of the family). Persistence and hard work pay off and that is something I want to instill in my children (as well as remind myself of often!).

Even though the whining and complaining will never completely come to an end (I still do it and I’m a grown woman!), giving gentle reminders of the blessings and gifts God has given us and creating opportunities to share those blessings with others can go a long way in helping our child develop a heart of thankfulness.

What do you do to encourage gratitude in your children?